50 shades of Ice (Extremely disgusting fanfiction)
by Majorjackass
Summary: Its about an alternate ending in frozen where Anna and Hans do SOMETHING. If you're human enough ,don t read this, you ll feel terrible. I feel ashamed for writing shit like this.


After Anna's heart was accidentally pierced by Elsa, Christoff took her to Arendalle. There she met her fiancé Hans Von Schwede.

Anna barely could have walked and rushed to Hans. "Hans", she said "You have got to kiss me, immediately !"

Hans was surprised to see his future-wife's red hair turn to light blond. Needlessly he carried her and made her lie down on a couch He asked "Anna, why? And why do you have blond hair?"

"Its Elsa " Anna replied ,"She froze my heart, and the only way to stop me from dying is a kiss of true love"

Hans looked sceptical " That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard." But he replied " But you are my future…wi-wife and this is a fanfic, so I will do it"

Anna and Hans shared the kiss that somehow corresponded to true love and her hair returned to crimson red.

Anna looked carefully at her fiancé " Hans " She asked, " May I ask you something ?"

"Anything dear " responded Von Schwede.

"Why did you stutter when you said I was your future wife" Anna asked looking suspicious.

Hans stood quiet for a moment but then started talking.

"Anna… " he said " I'm going to tell you something but please don't be angry."

Anna stood quiet but obliged.

Hans said " The reason why I wanted to marry you is to… become king of this kingdom , I never loved you at first, but…"

Anna was broken in tears

Hans felt ashamed of what he has done but continued " I…I'm sorry Anna, I never should have told you this."

Anna cleared her tears and shouted " You're a huge fucking prick, I hate you , go to hell you bastard " but the pain of truth was so great that she cried again.

Hans sat next to her and said slowly "Anna, I never wanted to see you cry, is there anything I can do to prove that I love and won't ever part from you ?"

Anna just said " You've done enough, just…get out."

"Please Anna" Hans begged "I'll do anything."

"Anything?" Anna asked .

"Anything." Hans said .

She calmed down and asked "Would you even … have sex with me right here right now?

"

"Sex !?" Hans screamed in shock "B-But Anna, we're not even married yet, its against the rules of Sweden, the country we are most probably living in."

"Ok Hans." She whiskered " There's the door."

Hans stood for a minute, he then reluctantly says "Ok, we'll do it but we have to make sure that NOBODY, not even Elsa knows, so we should lock the doors."

Anna seemed confused " I thought love was an open door." She said

"There are some things we just can not say, we'll get guillotined like my cousin Helmut. Don't let them in or let them see, you have to be the good girl you always had to be " said Hans with great seriousness.

Anna stood quiet for a moment "Ok then, turn around and slam the door." She asked.

Hans nodded and locked the doors

"Take of your cloths" Anna demanded.

Hans took of his military service clothing that is where Anna noticed his rock-hard hunky figure and his reproductive organ. "Nice abs hun" she said "Its funny how some distance could have mad everything seem so small"

Hans blushed "Ok Anna, it's your turn.

Anna gently took off her robs, as if she was provocating him, she had a slim curvy body and a pale skin.

Hans felt aroused seeing her naked

She slowly approached him and gently rubbed her hand over his chest. She looked at him with her emerald green eyes. Hans couldn't stay still, Anna smiled "You like that don't you Hans?"

Hans responded saying "L-Lets just get on with it…"

" As you wish" Anna said " But first you'll have to do a little **welcoming exercise, **in other words just finger and touch my vagina"

Hans just thought"Oh how much I am going to regret this, and f% k you fanfic writer for making a bunch of children's cartoon characters do the unthinkable. You have a lot of mind issues."

Hans started rubbing Anna's vagina. He went gently to but fast enough to let her enjoy this moment, to his surprise , it was much more enjoyable than regrettable. As he was fingering her , he noticed Anna, who seemed much more beautiful than before.

"You like don't you ?" asked Hans

Anna was moaning out of pleasure "Yes" she responded. " Now its time for **the main course**"

For the next 15 minutes Anna and Hans were having sex in the missionary position, both of them were moaning out of pleasure. Despite this Hans did not ejaculate.

"Hmm, why is there no **snow **?" asked Anna

"Anna , I'm not letting it go, you could get pregnant" said Hans

"…Very well then, I'll get it out of you" said Anna

Hans was powerless to stop Anna from grabbing his ***STICK***, he hesitantly asked "A-a-anna , wh-what are you-"

But before he could finish, Anna cut his line whispering in his ear "shhhh… I'm about to give you a purpose to live.."

Anna made her mouth go closer and closer to his penis until she reached it. She started licking every inch of it until it was covered with saliva. After it was complete, she started sucking him off so deeply that Hans felt her throat.

Hans just felt this liquid coming closer and closer from inside but is resisting from letting it go.

Anna looked at him saying "I'll make you pour the snow inside my mouth."

Anna started sucking him and rubbing him simultaneously so much that Hans actually wanted to ejaculate in her mouth.

He said " Come on Anna, you can do it, almost there. I can't hold it back anymore"

Anna started moaning to excite her future-husband " Oh yes, Let it go Hans, let it go." She said. Until finally; she felt these warm shots inside her mouth. Hans launched some sort of Chewbacca a few seconds after the shots were fired. She started to slow down on the sucking and rubbing, this white liquid started coming out of her mouth. She then took her mouth of his penis and swallowed the load. She then smiled

"That was probably the best experience in thy life, but if people know what happened , we're screwed" Hans said without much of an emotion

"I don't care what they're going to say, now lets put our cloths back on.'

Unbeknownst to them, the Duke of Wesselton was spying on them during the whole time. One of his guards asked "Sir, should we report the Scandinavian counsel of their unholy behaviour."

"No" responded the Duke " Let them live a life of ignorance , in the end, someone else, not me, was watching them the whole time. Only time will tell their fate."

After these events

The Duke of Wesselton vanished never to be seen again.

Elsa was put in charge for crimes against humanity, attempted third degree murder, extreme negligence and being a blond whore for showing her skin. Her punishment was rape for 5 years straight by every guard in prison until her heart got "warm". Anna never knew about this because she does not follow up the news.

Christoff suicides for not having a smoking hot babe as a wife.

Sven became a wanted fugitive for stealing a bunch of carrots from small businesses, earning him the infamous nickname of the "Mad Moose".

Olaf dies after the return of summer.

Anna and Hans got married after 5 years of dating and intercourse. They lived happily ever after and ruled the principality of Arendalle until the discovery of their pre-marital affairs resulting in charges for treason against Sweden.


End file.
